10 simple ways to say no

One of the reasons people get tied down to where they do not want to be, is because they have refused to say no to those circumstances that have continually tied them down. Whether it’s a human factor or a situation that looks hard to deal with, learning to say no at the right time, place and in the right manner, gives you much more fulfillment and relief. The ability to say ‘NO’, also clears the path for you to live without blaming yourself or getting unnecessarily angry at yourself.

Your inability to say no will affect your productivity and efficiency, being the result of taking on too many commitments, and when you take on too many things at a time, excellent performance becomes compromised. Do you have difficulty saying “no”? Are you always trying to be nice to others at your own expense?

Well, you’re not alone. For some reasons, many people have ditched the word ‘no’, to hurt themselves while they please others. This is not to say that you should not be nice to people, but do not be unfair to yourself while being nice to people.

 

Why you find it difficult to say “NO”.

 

You don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings – Saying ‘no’, necessarily doesn’t mean hurting other people’s feelings. It all depends on how you say it and your intent for saying no. Although you do not have to justify your reason for saying ‘no’, it is a great Personal development practice to ensure it’s best for you when you do so.

 

You don’t want to disappoint the person you’re saying ‘no’ to: We all get disappointed once in a while, and even nature as taught us to live by disappointments sometimes; when you can’t help it, acknowledge it, and let the other person know, it’s because you can’t just fit it in. 

 

Willingness to help: Sometimes, we feel the urge to help, even if the weight pulls us down. Imagine a Camel on the Sahara, each time it takes on this particular luggage, it walks six steps and then it goes down, for three consecutive attempts it happened so, isn’t it time to take a break? That is exactly what happens to you when you aim to help out, even though you are not capable of helping out. Identify it, say it nicely and free your mind. If you go ahead, you may stop mid-way and that hurts more on both sides.

 

You want to keep a long lasting relationship- If you must know, what preserves good relationship is being true and honest right from the outset. When you continually please people for the wrong reasons, you will someday come to a point, where you can go no further and this is when you begin to disappoint those you have always wanted to please unjustifiably. You however have a duty to live up to it and take the step, knowing how to say no.

 

Don’t want to be rude: This is simply a ‘mind -set’, that when you say ‘no’, you are being rude. Saying ‘no’ does not necessarily mean being rude, rather the manner with which you say it determines rudeness and not just saying no, and that is why you need to learn how to say ‘no’ nicely.

 

You want to be seen and called “Nice“- The only nice thing about being nice is sincerely feeling and being soulfully nice.

 

 To avoid  conflict: No matter how hard you try, some people just want you to accept whatever they want you to do and never seem to understand your  point of view. For this reason, or just because you assumed so, you feel jerky there might be a conflict  if you reject him/her. What I will say is; try avoid any form of confrontation, try to say’ no’, as politely as you can, hold on to the fact that, it’s simply because you can’t afford to help the person, and sooner than later, you will feel the inner peace you deserve.

Over time, I have come to realize that these reasons people fear to say no,  are basically, misconceptions. Saying “No” doesn’t mean all these things above, and do not necessarily create a negative atmosphere. These are all false beliefs that have been built in the mind over time.

10 Simple Ways To Say “No”

Rather than have it as a burden on you, just follow these simple ways to turn down things or situations you sincerely can’t help.

1. “Sorry, I will not be able to this at this time.” 

2.”No, I can’t.”

3.”This is not a really good time as I’m in the middle of something.” 

4.”I will be privileged to assist once I complete this project”.

5.”No, not now, you may get in touch later”.

6. “I’d love to do this, but …”

7.” I’m fully booked at the moment, and will not be able to take up more responsibilities”.

8.”I’m not the best person to help on this.” 

9.”How could you expect me to do a thing like that for you?”

10.”I wish I could help…”

 Learning the art of saying no, may save more than the burden of getting overworked and having to live with limitless commitments.

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My secret idea generator

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As a business owner, you must train your mind to wander and evolve with ideas or ways of keeping your business atop. It is important to be adaptive, creative and flexible enough to make progressive changes when needed. Aside from the tools you can find all over the internet to make your business and life easier to manage, you must be in constant touch with your inner idea generating mind, to tap into your skills in order to carve out great ideas to move your business forward. There are different ways to generate ideas to keep your business flourishing and gaining new customers or even just business friends.
With your unique human strength, instinct and talent, you can achieve much more if truly dig deep and these ideas could be transformed into great money-making resources, having them modified for further use, using tools online.
For example, if you were thinking how to improve your financial situation, you could explore your ideas blogging or create your online store and then develop ideas to make your primary goal a success.
Think about what you want to blog about, blog title that appeals to readers
How best to serve your readers
How could you generate income with your blog-etc
If you were thinking of creating a web store/website
You need to think of a domain name that will serve your utmost purpose
What best suit you and your sore and all other related business planning matters.
The whole point here is that you must take advantage of your skills and instincts to be able to generate great ideas that will work for you.
For me, I have noticed that I get the best of my ideas when I am alone in my kitchen doing chores-sounds funny? Each time no one is there with me or no kids distracting my attention, my mind suddenly flickers through any of the ideas I have previously been trying to work on and then a great idea strikes me and then I quickly scribble it in my pad; this could be in form of blog post title, the next tool to try, a great step to take, story ideas, new product type, etc and most of the time have turned out to be great when I work on them.
What I’m sharing here, is a personal experience which could help you begin growing your business with your own unique original ideas, fetched from inside you, but first, you must be able to define what works for you, what inspires your imagination and when and how does your creativity get optimum feeds; is it during yoga, while reading, driving alone, listening to music, when you read or listen to other people’s success stories, when in the private area, etc-the list is endless. Figure out where your hot spot lies and work on it. I t could be a really great resources in building your very own strong and successful business empire.

6 golden rules of time management

Time is going, yet moves not

Race against time, still cannot catch.

Motionless as may be, its speed I dare not match

Time is going, yet moves not.

What is it about time that we often find ourselves struggling with it? After all, time is our opportunity. It is the privilege of the period we have to exist and do what we want to do. We should be in control of our time, though not in a way to be accurate about every detail of our everyday events, but definitely in some other ways that put us above the struggling edge. The fact that we cannot hold down time and make use of it as frivolously as we wished is absolutely what gave time the edge over us. No wonder there is so much about the ‘big thing’ TIME. Time is precious and time is the absolute factor we run our lives on. It is almost everything. A time to laugh and a time to cry, a time to be serious and a time to play, there is about time for everything. How conscious are you about the privilege of the time you have?

Time management in the professional sense of it, is just but the process of exercising conscious control over your allocated work time with regards to specific activities, especially to increase efficiency or productivity. In situations like this, you talk about planning, organizing, scheduling, and prioritizing tasks- all these are office jargon.

How do you use your everyday time? Is it possible to turn your time into such that will become effective and very fulfilling?

How well do you seek to spend your time? Do you always look for time to chat away and get drenched in unending wrangling? Or is it work without limits? There is no doubt times are stiff now, but remember time will always throw back what you throw at it. If you believe in managing your time properly to accommodate responsible working, quality time with friends and family as well as other squares you have to attend then, you can make it. Good management of time and resources help create a balance in your work, social and spiritual life, and striking this balance, is what tells how dignifying an individual is. It is good to take advantage of the time we have to do what ought to be done. By this I mean don’t leave what you have to do today till tomorrow, because tomorrow may be too late. “Make hay while the sun shines”. Don’t postpone the start date of a project you want to start today till tomorrow, because the opportunities present today, may not be available tomorrow. If you are planning to make some amends with an old friend, family members or other loved ones, do it now, the opportunity you have now may cease to be there later. Tell someone you love them, show appreciation to those who deserve it and begin to make your mark where you believe necessary, for time waits not, even though we are the ones running.

A lot of people complain of lack of time as being a reason for not achieving some goals or starting off purported projects. I do not see this as true, even if it tends to be in the short run, it must not in the long run. At some point, you must be able to make time out for whatever you aim to achieve. For you to make great use of your time and achieve the balance you need in your life; these are five golden rules for you to follow.

Know your goals

What do you want to do within your time frame? Ask yourself what specific tasks are there for you to carry out to meet whatever you want to achieve; it may be things to do at work, going to the club after work, attend some worship centres, take your family out, hang out with friends, etc no matter how many, the important thing is first, to have the big picture of the things you would like to do to have the desired balance in your life. Once you can fit yourself into the big picture, you will then begin to work out some short-term and medium-term goals.

Things to do list

Making a list of all the activities you will like to include in your life to achieve your desired results is a great way to get you started with effective time management. Your ‘things to do list’, will help you stay organised and in control of your projects, tasks and time. With this, you will remember everything you need to do, without having to scramble over anything or loosing track of your tasks.

Prioritize your tasks

Spending extra time at work does not necessarily mean delivering good quality of job. However, delivering good quality job will definitely mean time well spent. So, once you have been able to list out all you want to do, now rearrange them in an order of importance, so the very important once get done in good time, taking them one after the other. Note that some tasks are urgent and important, while some are urgent but not important. It is better to comply with the importance of a task and not its urgency, after all, if it is not important, it may as well be delayed. Once you do your list, you will have all these to define and deal with. This arrangement will enable you to work smarter and achieve better results with less stress.

Plan and schedule your activities

Make sure you have an organised way to carry out all your planned tasks. For the very urgent and important ones, schedule them first. Allocate a time frame to begin and finish the task. Use a time log to plan all your activities and ensure you keep to your schedules. As you go over and complete any task or activity, strike it out and commence on the next one on the list. This way, you will avoid wasting time and your productivity as well as the fulfillment you derive in achieving your goals will continue to soar and increase your level of motivation.

Do not procrastinate

Sometimes, when you complain of lack of time as one of the reasons for not executing some tasks or projects, it usually is not. Rather, it is because of the fear of starting that task or project itself. It is important that you manage your fear of doing some certain things, by facing up to it and actually including such tasks in your ‘to do’ list and begin to give it a go. When you take one step forward, you will have the drive to continue trying and when you begin to try, you will be amazed what lessons and experiences you will begin to have. These are the forces that make you a better and stronger ‘you’. You always don’t have to win, but it feels great to have tried. Who says you won’t win anyway?

Take a break

Taking time out to relax and cool off is way to re-energize you. By the time you get back to work, you feel refreshed and probably fuelled with more ideas and renewed focus. When you plan for your break it also serves as a motivation towards achieving some goals and help you break up your work into more manageable chunks. Good time management helps in concentrating on important, urgent and non-urgent, activities at well designed time, making no activities ever becoming too tedious or stressful.