One of the reasons people get tied down to where they do not want to be, is because they have refused to say no to those circumstances that have continually tied them down. Whether it’s a human factor or a situation that looks hard to deal with, learning to say no at the right time, place and in the right manner, gives you much more fulfillment and relief. The ability to say ‘NO’, also clears the path for you to live without blaming yourself or getting unnecessarily angry at yourself.
Your inability to say no will affect your productivity and efficiency, being the result of taking on too many commitments, and when you take on too many things at a time, excellent performance becomes compromised. Do you have difficulty saying “no”? Are you always trying to be nice to others at your own expense?
Well, you’re not alone. For some reasons, many people have ditched the word ‘no’, to hurt themselves while they please others. This is not to say that you should not be nice to people, but do not be unfair to yourself while being nice to people.
Why you find it difficult to say “NO”.
You don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings – Saying ‘no’, necessarily doesn’t mean hurting other people’s feelings. It all depends on how you say it and your intent for saying no. Although you do not have to justify your reason for saying ‘no’, it is a great Personal development practice to ensure it’s best for you when you do so.
You don’t want to disappoint the person you’re saying ‘no’ to: We all get disappointed once in a while, and even nature as taught us to live by disappointments sometimes; when you can’t help it, acknowledge it, and let the other person know, it’s because you can’t just fit it in.
Willingness to help: Sometimes, we feel the urge to help, even if the weight pulls us down. Imagine a Camel on the Sahara, each time it takes on this particular luggage, it walks six steps and then it goes down, for three consecutive attempts it happened so, isn’t it time to take a break? That is exactly what happens to you when you aim to help out, even though you are not capable of helping out. Identify it, say it nicely and free your mind. If you go ahead, you may stop mid-way and that hurts more on both sides.
You want to keep a long lasting relationship- If you must know, what preserves good relationship is being true and honest right from the outset. When you continually please people for the wrong reasons, you will someday come to a point, where you can go no further and this is when you begin to disappoint those you have always wanted to please unjustifiably. You however have a duty to live up to it and take the step, knowing how to say no.
Don’t want to be rude: This is simply a ‘mind -set’, that when you say ‘no’, you are being rude. Saying ‘no’ does not necessarily mean being rude, rather the manner with which you say it determines rudeness and not just saying no, and that is why you need to learn how to say ‘no’ nicely.
You want to be seen and called “Nice“- The only nice thing about being nice is sincerely feeling and being soulfully nice.
To avoid conflict: No matter how hard you try, some people just want you to accept whatever they want you to do and never seem to understand your point of view. For this reason, or just because you assumed so, you feel jerky there might be a conflict if you reject him/her. What I will say is; try avoid any form of confrontation, try to say’ no’, as politely as you can, hold on to the fact that, it’s simply because you can’t afford to help the person, and sooner than later, you will feel the inner peace you deserve.
Over time, I have come to realize that these reasons people fear to say no, are basically, misconceptions. Saying “No” doesn’t mean all these things above, and do not necessarily create a negative atmosphere. These are all false beliefs that have been built in the mind over time.
10 Simple Ways To Say “No”
Rather than have it as a burden on you, just follow these simple ways to turn down things or situations you sincerely can’t help.
1. “Sorry, I will not be able to this at this time.”
2.”No, I can’t.”
3.”This is not a really good time as I’m in the middle of something.”
4.”I will be privileged to assist once I complete this project”.
5.”No, not now, you may get in touch later”.
6. “I’d love to do this, but …”
7.” I’m fully booked at the moment, and will not be able to take up more responsibilities”.
8.”I’m not the best person to help on this.”
9.”How could you expect me to do a thing like that for you?”
10.”I wish I could help…”
Learning the art of saying no, may save more than the burden of getting overworked and having to live with limitless commitments.